Blugger’s 5 Worst Movies of 2017

2017 had some great movies (I’d recommend reading our top picks here).  However, there were some pretty bad ones and I thought it would be nice to share them so you don’t have to waste your time with any of them.  If you want to see them, be my guest, but don’t say I didn’t warn you if you didn’t like it.

There really isn’t much else to say so let’s dive right in:

5. Geostorm

I would have loved to give Geostorm the benefit of the doubt for maybe being so bad it’s actually funny and enjoyable (along the lines of Michael Bay’s Armageddon).  No, Gerard Butler gives one of the laziest performances I’ve seen him in, and I don’t buy him for one second as a genius scientist.  It’s about a thing in space that controls weather and things go wrong and now Gerard Butler has to save everyone from every natural disaster ever.  The concept is downright ridiculous, and I would have liked it if it didn’t take itself so seriously.  However, my guess is the writers for Geostorm thought that they were making a great cautionary tale about technology, but the film just falls flat on every note.  Even the effects are pretty bad, and the story is incredibly generic for such an out there concept.

4. The Mummy

Oh, The Dark Universe, people actually thought you had promise.  The Mummy is a great example of how not to start a franchise.  Tom Cruise stars in one of his most boring roles yet despite that airplane falling scene that everyone saw in the trailer.  The movie echoes with the demands of corporate overlords who just want their cinematic universe.  Not everything has to be the next Marvel/Star Wars.  They stuff Russel Crowe as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde and apparently he’s supposed to tie the franchise together, but it makes no sense.  It felt like a teaser for five other things, which it ultimately was.  It’s probably for the best that the Dark Universe is done for one movie in.

3. Transformers: The Last Knight

Please stop making these, Paramount.  Transformers 5 is the next terrible addition to the already awful franchise that could have had so much potential had it not trashed everything that made the classic 80’s cartoon so great.  Ever since the second film, the quality of this franchise has been rolling down a steep hill, and if The Last Knight is any indication, it’s bound to go under.  I’m glad it under performed (grossed a little over $600 million) and put the franchise in a state of question because I’m done.  I’ve had it with many of the people involved phoning it in because it’s a big franchise and people will go see it.  Well guess what, people are smart and it took a few movies, but I think we understand now to not watch these anymore.

2. Fifty Shades Darker

If you thought the first movie was bad enough, think again.  This would have easily topped the list if it weren’t for another movie that’s just downright depressing.  Fifty Shades Darker fails on all levels.  The story is pointless and lazier than the original, but let’s be real – no one watches these for the story.  However, even if audiences go to the theaters just for the sex scenes, THERE ARE NONE.  Like seriously, the “sexy stuff” that people were looking forward to and never really got was diminished even more, and instead we get a drawn out series of scenes that build up to nothing.  I find it sad that a film like this was basically unanimously considered boring, and it most definitely is.  It’s an absolute slugfest and you can tell that the actors were sick and tired of acting in these films.  Dakota Johnson and Jaime Dornan have zero chemistry, and their good talent (which is evident in their other works) is wasted one of the worst on screen couples I’ve seen.

1. The Emoji Movie

You probably guessed it.  The Emoji Movie is the pinnacle of bad filmmaking.  Despite bad characters, a terrible plot, and annoying dance sequences, The Emoji Movie goes one disastrous step further by masquerading as a film when it’s really a giant advertisement for Dropbox, Just Dance, Candy Crush, and more.  When Dropbox is an actual plot point in your movie, something is fishy.  The sad part is, kids buy into the manipulative, subliminal messages about the products shown.  Everything else about it is just boring things coated with splashy colors.  One of the absolute dumbest aspects is that main character is a “meh” emoji.  He is literally the most boring character out of them all.  If that weren’t bad enough, they got acclaimed actor Sir Patrick Stewart to be the “poop” emoji.  It’s incredibly cynical to think this low of potential audience members and treat them with such little respect.  I actually felt like the producers were laughing at me for paying to see the movie in theaters.  I hated everything about this movie except for maybe the animation because I feel bad for the Sony Pictures Animation team that did its best for this.

So those are my five worst films for 2017.  This is not a definite list, and it’s ultimately just my opinion.  I know there were plenty of terrible films that came out in 2017, and I didn’t see every movie in the year so I’m sure I missed a bunch that you might have thought were worse.  With that said, please feel free to let me know what your least favorite movies of 2017 are in the comments section!

Also, if you like what you see here, please feel free to check out our top ten favorite movies of 2017!

Twitter: @MohitPuvvala

Instagram: @MohitPuvvala

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